Sexy Seniors in a Youth Obsessed World

During a blank eyed bit of channel surfing, I happened upon a HBO special about strippers.  I was immediately drawn in despite self-assurances that I was above watching such tripe.  As I continued to gawk, a strange mixture of disquiet and sadness over took me.  Now, I have never had a problem with female nudity or blatant sexuality in general, but something struck me as odd in a I can’t-put-my-finger-on-it type way.

As exposes go, it was what you’d expect, controversial and titillating although I don’t recall very much of it. The scene that does stick in my mind, was one where a fifty-ish stripper was auditioning for a club. The owners, looking amused throughout the woman’s performance, allowed her to dance, but told her afterwards that she wouldn’t work out on the basis that she was “too old’.

This part of the show made me a bit angry, for a myriad of reasons.

1) The guys who owned the club probably knew that they wouldn’t hire a woman her age, but sought to exploit her audition for entertainment purposes.
2) That the main jist of the “joke” wasn’t the fact that she didn’t have nice body, which she did, but the fact that she was an older woman.
3) That two sleazebags, who looked like aging walrus’, had the temerity to sit and laugh at a woman whom they would have no problem dating if she approached them in the “real world”.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think a fifty-something should be gyrating on a pole either, but I was somewhat offended by the idea that the “joke”, was the idea that a woman can’t be considered sexy at any age.

Take a look at Sophia Lauren – this lady is gorgeous! I can’t imagine one straight man who would say she didn’t have what it takes to turn heads, yet, the number found on her driver’s license will impede her from being considered an American sex symbol today.

Funny, since sixty-something rocker Sting and an aging Sean Connery still get nods as fantasy fodder.

I have seen some amazingly beautiful older women who are just as lovely as younger gals, maybe even more so, as they have grown comfortable in their own skin, with an internal happiness that comes from letting go of old demons, and finally enjoying life.
While I do think the aging stripper did herself a great disservice by trying to compete in a youth obsessed arena, I will say she was in great shape for a “woman her age.” Her mistake wasn’t in trying to be sexy, but in trying to be sexy in a way that wasn’t appropriate for a sophisticated, older woman.

As we age, we come to realize that we alone own our sexuality and our bodies! Should older women care if the world at large sees our refined beauty? No. We should instead, flower under the loving gaze of those who appreciate where we stand, wrinkles, crinkles, and all.

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Senior Dating Etiquette 101

Just because one is older, doesn’t mean one is wiser-at least when it comes to relationships. I am of the theory that many of us will go to our graves still pondering the complexities of the opposite sex.

Maybe this is as it should be, as a little mystery never hurt anyone, besides, demystifying something usually leads to boredom and disenchantment.

Even still, it is hard to know what to do and how to be when dating, especially if you are a single senior, who, for whatever reason, is back on the prowl, looking for companionship and romance.

An article called Senior Dating Do’s and Don’ts addresses some of he many issues seniors may face when they start dating after a long hiatus. Written by someone with the handle of LOVEAFTER50, it gives tons of helpful advice and suggestions into this often taboo and misunderstood, but steadily growing, topic.

The Do’s were very matter of fact and straightforward, the kinds of things that most of us should know, but for some reason, may not apply.

The writer advises mature daters to be sure to be on time, be generous with the pleasantries, tailor common interest to make a date feel comfortable , and keep a positive attitude, even if mishaps like food spills occur. He goes on to tell daters to show genuine interest in their dates, and to even flirt a bit.

The don’ts were just as eye opening, starting with the admonition to not go overboard and try to be something you are not. This called to mind one of my all time favorite quotes, “It is better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who you are not.” Far too often, in an effort to impress, we will make up things, but more times than not, the truth emerges. Better to be honest and lose interest at the very beginning, than to pretend, and then have the person feel lied to and leave after you have grown close to one another.

Another good don’t was to not complain boisterously or drink more than you can handle. The latter is a GREAT tip, since I have had to deal with more than my fair share of drunken, gropey dates.

If your date is not drinking, neither should you!

Many of these tips apply to any given dating situation, but especially for retirees, who, as the elders of our society, have to put it upon themselves to be an example for the younger generation to look up to.

An older gent can’t turn his nose up at rude, trash talking youngsters, if he himself flies off the handle and make his displeasure loudly known while in public.

You never know who may be looking at you to see how to walk in this life. We learn from one another-it is the rule of existence. Applying good dating etiquette is not hard to do, and will make the dating experience even more fun and rewarding.

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Silver Fox Acting and Dressing Too Young for Her Age

cindyjoseph1Q:    I am a 66 years young, silver fox   and I am having the time of my life.    I used to be a timid thing, particularly after years of  marriage with a domineering husband, but since his death two years ago, I have been awakened.  My twin sons, who would rather I sit in a rocking chair and pine the loss of my husband.  What is most frustrating, is that they are always  harping on what I wear and who I date.  I don’t want to be an old matronly fuddy duddy, so yes, I may wear a mini  skirt or two as  I still have great bod for an old gal. I also date younger men, but they are not spring chickens–the youngest is 51!   Recently, I even got a belly button piercing and a heart shaped tattoo on my shoulder!  I am not hurting anyone!  How can I get my sons to accept me for who and what I am?  Why won’t they just let me live my life?

 

A:  I recently caught a wonderful  Cate Blanchette interview on Entertainment Weekly regarding her  film Elizabeth, the Golden Age.   During the interview she remarked that one of Queen Elizabeth’s outfits was “mutton dressed as lamb.”  When asked to explain the phrase, she revealed that “mutton dressed as lamb” simply meant an older person dressing like someone far younger.

 

The phrase comes to mind as I write this.

 

Certainly, there is nothing wrong with dressing fashionably at an older age and believe me, I hear yah about not wanting to look like a dowdy old hag.  I also agree that the fashion industry can be found lacking in regards to clothing lines for  sophisticated, mature women.  Either they dress you in large, unflattering  mu mu’s  that have all the shape and appeal of a  floral blanket, or  they offer two piece  suit monstrosities that make you look like a  “Dynasty” escapee.

An internet search for “senior fashions” and “fashion for the mature women” barely turned up a hit, highlighting this dilemma.  That said, all is not lost.

Stores like Macy’s for example, offer conservative yet lively styles that can be worn by an older woman, with  outfits like this one, which  can greatly flatter an older woman’s figure and  is age appropriate yet  still sexy.

Likewise, you will never go wrong with a regal yet trendy suit like this one, and/or  this one…

There are stores that carry similar styles  at more affordable prices, and  with the right make up, hair and a smattering of  ingenuity, you can  be a fashion plate well into your Golden Years.

Personally, I  think that all your youthful posturing   and boy chasing has  more to do with being freed after feeling tied down for so long.  Channel that energy into shopping for clothing that will add to, not take away from, your silver foxiness, a compromise that will make everyone happy, including sons and beaus!

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Senior Dating-Performance Pills and Sex Over 50

You have seen them….can’t miss ‘em.  Yep, it seems that as soon as your turn the TV on, a commercial hawking erectile dysfunction medicine is on.

There aren’t very many of brands,but their advertisements still appear to inundate the airwaves.

First came Viagra, bursting on the market as”the little blue pill” that could help men who were having a problem, er…rising to the occasion as it were, to be more than ready! Now there’s Cialis (http://www.cialis.com/index.jsp), with its remarkable claim of working in as little as thirty minutes and for as long as 36 hours, so you can wait till the mood is right, something that Viagra can’t claim.

The ads appear to target sexy senior couples and retired singles on the dating scene, who arelooking to get their engines revving, but are marriedold timers and single retirees really that focused on having sex like their younger counter parts?

It would appear so, asED pharmaceuticals haveskyrocketed into a billiondollar industry for bothpills,worldwide.

Long thought to be the pursuit of the young, mature adults are still stepping lively andsaying that they too want to get a little ‘something, something”going every now and again.

What was once looked upon as taboo or odd, is now seen as a healthy and normal aspect of senior life, which gives many of us approaching that golden age hope.

In fact, SEXUALITY AND U, summed up sentiments on the topic best when they wrote,

“Sex among older adults was once seen as being as improbable…but there is nothing to suggest that hitting 40 or 50 or 70 means an end to a healthy sex life!Again, the way you have viewed sex during your lifetime, and its importance to you and your partner are key to enjoying sex throughout your entire lifespan.”

I couldn’t agree more, andhave to say that one doesn’t suddenly turn off one’s feelings just because the big hand hits a five and the little hand a zero.People have to realize that seniors are people too, with desires and wants and needs like any of us, they just happen to have a bit more life experience, and this is a good thing.

Heck, I am thinking that mature sex, much like fine wine, would get better with age, as you are free from worrying so much about what others think and have probably come to a place in life where you are comfortable with who you are, and what you want.

Another great article on the topic can be found here, and validates this,proudly proclaiming, “In reality, most people over age 50 describe their sex life as the most satisfying in their life,”

Yes, life doesn’t end at forty, in fact, life doesn’t end until the daythey are pouring dirt on your casket!Until that time,let’s enjoy our loves as well as our lives!

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Senior Activities

I can’t wait to be an old woman. Why? Well, number one is that I will have the ability to say whatever is on my mind and people will think it is cute. I mean, it would almost be like when I was a kid, but I’d have my own money and hopefully, the ability to drive. I just know that, as I get older, I will adopt a “what the heck, go for it,” type o’ spunk, and inevitably find my way past fears that currently hold me back.

Today, I am simply inspired and perhaps, a wee bit envious, of what seniors are able to get into these days.

For instance, The Caring Community. Org, offers seniors choice “in Shakespeare…Tai Chi class, dining with friends,” or “embarking on exciting excursions in and around New York City… Seniors are encouraged to write poems, work out, attend classes in health and nutrition, sharpen their computer skills-even learn line dancing…”

Wow.

Gone are the days of expecting aging citizens to sit quietly a in the corner and sip on a cup of tapioca pudding as they watch DAYS OF OUR LIVES on the nursing home boob tube. Today’s centers and senior citizen planning communities have to offer what the older set is currently demanding – more options that are exciting and geared towards the sensibilities of more youthful old timers.

Nowadays, the more adventurous senior may opt to go sky-diving – yes, that’s right, sky-diving. Old Age Pensioners even goes so far as to detail the specialized equipment that is required for the elderly to sky dive. If you are a senior who is interested in this sport, be aware – costs begin at: $10,000, and that is just for the apparatus needed to keep you safe…

For those who want their feet to remain planted on terra firma, meeting new and interesting people may be more their cup of tea. For them, there are online dating services, where courting seniors can find romance-minded individuals who are seeking the same things out of a relationship. Seniors Circle , 50 Years Plus, Mature singles only, Wired Seniors and All Senior Dating are wonderful sites, with standard set ups and offerings, like free registration
(be sure to evaluate site details to see if free really means free, as often times, dating sites will allow you to set up a profile, or even browse the profiles of other members, but you may have to pay to answer or send emails to interested parties.)

Mature Christians who are looking for love can visit Christian Single Seniors. The site has a promising compatibility and spirituality search option, and practically guarantees that you will “never be lonely again”.

Lastly, I reflect on an all lady senior motorcycle group called The Heavenly Hellcats, and I smile. Yes, I am too timid to jump on a Harley and ride off into the sunset–for now, but who knows what my future holds as I advance towards the wondrous, golden years.

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Dating For Seniors

One never knows what they will find on any given dating site, but as soon as I pulled up the  Dating For Seniors web page, I just had to smile.

Why, you ask? Well, how could you not! Just  look at that adorable and attractive older couple smiling out at you.   They are poised, dignified and happy.

I also loved this site because it shows that people have grown past the assumption that growing older means giving up on life. Today’s retirees are computer savvy, sassy, efficient and eagerly looking forward to what the future holds.

I glanced over the home page and noticed a disclaimer in fine print that read: “Dating For Seniors is for older men and women to find suitable partners to spend their life with. We feature only real seniors who are single and interested in dating, meeting as friends or looking for a partner in life. No fake profiles, no spam, just real life people looking for partners online.”
Good to know.

I tried to sign up. I couldn’t resist.  Really, as a rule,  I usually don’t do that, as many sites cause me to roll my eyes at their convoluted process,.  There was something intriguing about this senior site so I decided, oh, what the heck.

My mission? To register as a man, looking for a woman, in Atlanta, Georgia. I was informed there were 336 singles meeting at least that criteria. By the time I got to the final stage, there was far too much information to fill out, so I skipped, curiosity daunted.

Foiled again!

Little matter- veni vidi vici – I came, I saw…well, I sorta conquered.

Features, I am assuming, are pretty much standard, offering the option to browse profiles, chat, email and set up a free ad, but there was little on the home page that told me just what those features were, and if you had they offered a free basic membership with the option to upgrade.

DFS claims to be 100 percent free though, so if you are of retirement age and looking for some excitement, I think Dating for Seniors is as good a place as any to try.

So give it a whirl, you’ve got nothing to lose, and you just might gain a friend or two!

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Mature Ladies and Fashion

When I think about growing old, I don’t fret over wrinkles, age spots of even throwing out a hip or two. Unlike most people, I have a keen awareness of my own mortality.  I know I am going to end up silver haired and I firmly believe that in exchange for this, I’ll  gain wisdom, grandkids and the ability to be comfortable in my own skin.

No, what I fear is the fashion.

I know that sounds a bit shallow, but you have to admit,  the elderly population is one that is still discriminated against in this regard.  BBW’s have demanded and received clothing options that reflect the latest fads; likewise, pregnant gals can express their individual style via cute and  attractive fashions  as they await bundles of joy.

Meanwhile, the mature woman has to be happy with large floral print mu mu’s, comfortable shoes and chunky costume jewelry, this despite the fact that, according to research from The NPD Group, women over 55 spent $30 billion on apparel in 1999; total consumer spending on apparel for 1999 was $184 billion. “This group represents a tremendous opportunity for retailers,” asserts Kim Blanck, a senior analyst with NPD. “They have the highest incomes to spend, they really are the leading edge of spenders and they should not be forgotten.”

The fashion industry best take heed and recognize that the homely, apple pie baking matron is being replaced by a spry, outgoing, youthful  grandmother who may even enjoy skydiving.

With this concept in mind, I decided to search the internet  for clothing suitable for ladies of advanced age who may still want to look and feel attractive.  I had to do quite a bit of digging (most stores offered typical fare of shapeless, baggy clothes in uninspired styles and colors), but to my dismay, I only managed to find a handful that had sexy, fun and age appropriate attire.

One of them, called The Tog Shop was especially nice, offering a wide array of shoes, tops, and sweaters for fashion-conscience older women.  Soft Surroundings was another rare find, providing gorgeous sweaters, tunics and skirts at reasonable prices.

Stores like these were in the minority, as all I could truly find in regards to senior fashions were more articles on how the industry should try to create more senior fashions.

What the fashion industry must realize is that one doesn’t seek to blend in with the wall paper simply because one advances in age.   Women desire to feel lovely and wanted at any stage in life.   The few stores I managed to locate were a good start,  so I am a bit encouraged.  Hopefully,  by the time my hair turns gray,  I’ll have an even greater assortment of styles to choose and maybe, just maybe  these styles will reflect my individual tastes in a fun, flirty yet sophisticated way.  Heck, if I make it that far,  it would be no less than what I deserve.

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